A parody for Torchwood 1x03 "Ghost Machine" (with apologies to Theodor Geisel for How the Grinch Stole Christmas).

"How the Twat Stole Cardiff"

Every Fan
Down in Fan-ville
Liked Jack Harkness a lot...

But Owen,
Whose flirting lacked charm,
They did NOT!

( Whatever the reason, his pants or his heart... )